


dRuNk

by Louis_Af



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Bottom Louis, Daddy Kink, Daddy Zayn, Friends With Benefits, Headspace, High School, Jealous Harry, Jealous Louis, Jealous Zayn, Lilo- friendship, M/M, Nouis- friendship, Power Bottom Louis, Sad Louis, Slut Harry, Subspace, Top Harry, Top Zayn, zouis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-05-30 17:01:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6432856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Louis_Af/pseuds/Louis_Af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No. Harry isn’t going to let Louis go that easily. Yeah he sounds selfish but he doesn’t care because Louis is his. He makes sure Louis knows he’s his every night when he fucks deep into him and marks his body with bites and bruises. He’s not going to let the best thing to ever happen to him get away.</p>
<p>“I,” Harry licks his lips and tips Louis’ head back to look up at him, “I promise that it want happen again. You have my word.” Harry holds out his pinky out to Louis waiting for him to do the same.</p>
<p>The thing is that they both know he’s lying but that doesn’t stop Louis from locking his pinky with him. And if Harry takes Louis home to fuck him good, that’s no ones business but theirs.</p>
<p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>The fic where Louis Tomlinson is Harry Styles' but Harry isn't his because he likes to sleep around and they aren't dating, so Louis seeks comfort in Zayn Malik; the beauty who may or may not steal his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Lose Control When I'm With You.

**Author's Note:**

> Theres still a lot of tags to be added but I hope you like it!
> 
> Z. xx

“So what you’re saying is that you thought I would be ok with you sleeping with other people because we haven’t established our relationship?” Louis asked in a low hiss. “You thought I would be ok with you fucking other people and then coming back to fuck me? Is that it? You thought I wouldn’t care?”

And no. Harry didn’t think that at all, but Louis has to get the fact that they aren’t dating. That Harry can do what and whoever he wants.

“Well do you have nothing to fucking say for yourself?” Louis goes on in rage. He gets that he’s being a bit dramatic but it isn’t fair. How come Harry gets to go out and fuck whoever he wants and then come back to crawl in bed with him?

“Louis,” Harry starts off slowly, “we aren’t together. You’re the one who doesn’t want to be tied down.”

Sure its true but it still isn’t fair to Louis.

Louis looks up at Harry and pouts at him, “Well,” he pauses calculating his thoughts, “I also said we’d fuck once and here we are,” he looks around, “honestly if you’re going to keep fucking other people, then we need to break whatever this is off.”

No. Harry isn’t going to let Louis go that easily. Yeah he sounds selfish but he doesn’t care because Louis is his. He makes sure Louis knows he’s his every night when he fucks deep into him and marks his body with bites and bruises. He’s not going to let the best thing to ever happen to him get away.

“I,” Harry licks his lips and tips Louis’ head back to look up at him, “I promise that it want happen again. You have my word.” Harry holds out his pinky out to Louis waiting for him to do the same.

The thing is that they both know he’s lying but that doesn’t stop Louis from locking his pinky with him. And if Harry takes Louis home to fuck him good, that’s no ones business but theirs.

 

…

 

The next time Louis hears about Harry fucking someone else he’s at some party filled with cheap alcohol and horny teenagers. He’s with his best mates Niall and Liam when he hears it. At first he isn’t sure if he’s hearing the girl right. She’s going on about how Harry tried to persuade her to let him fuck her in the ass the night before, she goes on to say that in the end he ended up just fucking her on the couch. And ok.

The situation would be funny if it was anyone else, but it’s Harry. Harry who promised him. His Harry. Louis doesn’t want to cry because he knew this would happen. Harry always breaks his promises to Louis and Louis is stuck wondering if he should be off fucking other people too. That’s how he ends up grinding up against some guy by the name Zayn who smells of cheap cologne, cigarette smoke, and Ciroc. Zayn is sexy. He’s something out of a magazine. He’s exotic. The best thing Louis’ ever seen so he lets himself get lost in a sea of cheap alcohol and the sound of Kendrick Lamar engulfing his body.

“Look so good baby,” Zayn mumbles from behind him sucking on his neck, “wanna fuck you. Can I fuck you?”

Louis wants to say no but he can’t resist the chemistry between their bodies and he deserves to get a good dicking by someone as good looking as Zayn. Who would resist Zayn.

“Yes.” He mumbles and before he knows it he’s being dragged off to another part of the house.

A door is opened. Clothes are being shed. And Louis wants to enjoy this so he relaxes his muscles. Hands run up and down his body, leaving bruises. Soft, plush lips mark up his body from the base of his neck to the inside of his thighs.

A finger is inserted into him dry and he hisses but he loves the pain. It takes his mind off Harry.

“Alright babe?” Zayn slurs as he sucks on his collarbones. “How many do you need?”

“Yeah,” he moans out, “need three then I wanna ride you.” He sounds obscene but he’s ready for it. Can’t wait for it. “Wanna ride you.” He repeats moaning into Zayn’s neck.

“Yeah?” Zayn asks, “Gonna ride daddy? Be a good boy?” And yes. Louis wants this. Wants to fuck his self down on Zayn’s dick.

“Yes daddy. Please. Please?” Louis’ begging because fuck yes, he wants to ride Zayn and call him daddy.

“Need you to get my cock wet for me.” Louis winces at the term because who even calls their dick cock? He abides though because he wants Zayn to be in him asap. He makes his way down Zayn’s torso, leaving behind a trail of wet kisses. He takes Zayn down in one swift motion, relaxing his throat to allow more room for Zayn.

“Fuck.” Zayn moans, lacing his fingers through Louis’ hair. “Give good head baby. So fuckin good for me. Daddy’s good boy.” His words encourage Louis to suck harder. Before he knows it Zayn is pulling him off and up to kiss him. They kiss for a few minutes before pulling apart.

“Wanna ride you now.” Louis whimpers in Zayn’s ear, “Wanna feel you.”

“Ok,” Zayn whispers running his hands down Louis’ back, he reaches for a condom, “No.” Louis whines. “Wanna feel you. I’m clean.”

Zayn leans up to kiss him, “Ok baby. No condom. Clean. C’mon,” he whispers grabbing his dick at the base so Louis can take it. “C’mon babe. Show me how you ride.”

Louis whimpers as he takes Zayn in one swift motion clawing at his chest. He starts to move his hips in small circles and Zayn’s moaning under him. Hands planted on his hips, Zayn helps him lift up and down. The room is quiet except for their grunts and moans mixing together. The sound of skin slapping against skin and Louis’ high-pitched “daddy’s”.

“Gonna flip us over, okay baby? Gonna fuck you so good.”

In one swift motion Louis is on his back with his legs over Zayn’s shoulders as he fucks deep into him. And Louis swears it. He swears Zayn is the best fuck he’s ever had.

“Daddy.” Louis moans. “Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.” And its so fucking obscene. Zayn’s fucking him so good and all he wants to do is cum. His little body is overheating and he swears he can’t move. All he can do is moan. Zayn’s holding him tight, whispering in his ear that he’s ok as he hits his prostate over and over.

“I got you baby,” he whispers and he’s so gentle with Louis, touching him just right. Fucking him hard and good. “Cum for me baby.” And fuck Louis’ cumming so intense and hard that he feels like he’s floating on cloud 9. He can’t move but his body is relaxed and he feels good post-orgasm. He doesn’t even feel Zayn cumming in him but the sounds he makes rings in his ears.

“Come back down for me, baby.” Zayn whispers, rubbing Louis’ sides. “Such a good boy for me. So good.” He continues to coax Louis, “You’re alright babe. You were amazing. My good boy.”

Zayn cleans the cum from Louis’ thighs and his tummy peppering kisses up his body, “You were amazing baby. So good for me. Gonna cuddle you now. Wanna cuddle?” He nuzzles his head in Louis’ neck, leaving kisses behind.

Louis swears it. He swears he’s falling in love with Zayn’s gentle nature. “Mhmm,” Louis replies half asleep scooting closer to Zayn. It’s the last thing either of them remembers before falling in a peaceful slumber cuddled up together. Louis’ head rested on Zayn’s chest.


	2. I'm Buzzing and I Feel Laced.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little Zouis and talks of Harry.

When Louis wakes up the next morning his body feels like jello and for the first time in forever he feels sated and happy. Zayn’s asleep under him and he looks gorgeous. So soft and cute. Louis sits and admires him before leaving a trail of wet kisses and bruises down his body leading to his dick.

He takes Zayn down in swift motion. Who doesn’t like head in the morning? He’s pretty sure Zayn would appreciate it.

Zayn isn’t completely woke but he’s moaning and groaning so Louis takes him deeper, relaxing his throat. He wants Zayn to wake up with his warm and wet mouth around his dick. He wants to taste Zayn’s cum.

“Yes.” Zayn grunts. He cards his fingers through Louis’ hair pushing him further down his dick, then he starts to fuck into Louis’ mouth. “Mhhhm. Feel so good baby. Such a good boy for me.” Then he’s cumming down Louis’ throat. Its hot and salty but Louis swallows anyways, well because that’s hot.

“Did so good baby. ‘s a nice way to wake up.” And God, Zayn’s so sexy in the morning. His voice is riddled deep with sleep. He looks soft and cuddly and Louis wants to keep him.

“It was wasn’t it.” Louis says, kissing his neck. Sucking bruises. “You were so good to me last night so I thought I’d repay you.”

Zayn hums, “Is that right. Fucked you good, yeah.” Its not even a question. Zayn’s smug because he knows he’s a good fuck. Knows he made Louis feel good.

“Yeah.” Louis murmurs looking up at him through thick eyelashes, “Best dicking I’ve ever had.” 

Zayn isn’t modest if his outburst of laughter is anything to go by. Louis doesn’t care though because Zayn is cute and soft and warm.

He cuddles into Zayn and Zayn holds him tight and he knows he wants this. Does Zayn want this though? Louis doesn’t care if he does or doesn’t. Its time that things go his way for a change.

He wants to keep Zayn.

He’s going to keep Zayn.

 

…

 

Zayn takes him for breakfast after they finish their morning fuck in the shower and nothings awkward between them. They laugh and joke and Louis likes this. Late night rough fucks, morning showers filled with pleasure and cumming, outings with Zayn. He could get use to this. Could get use to Zayn’s company.

“So babe, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Louis wouldn’t mind but for some reason Zayn sounds hesitant. 

“Yeah?” Louis whispers and its low but Louis knows Zayn heard him.

“Harry.” It’s the only he says and Louis’ already done with the conversation.

He takes a bite of his toast, “What about him?” He’s trying his best to be nonchalant. Why should he be worried about Harry when his dick is likely buried in someone else at the moment? 

Someone that isn’t him.

“I mean, isn’t he your boyfriend? Why would you be with someone who constantly cheats?”

Louis chokes on his orange juice because what the fuck is Zayn talking about?

“Zayn. He isn’t my boyfriend. We aren’t together.” Louis knows why it hurts to say it out loud but he doesn’t dwell on it.

“So. If you don’t mind me asking. Why were you arguing the other day in front of the school?” He sounds like he doesn’t believe him.

Louis knows what day he’s talking about.

It the same day Harry and him got into a argument about Harry fucking other people. The day that Harry promised it wouldn’t happen. Jokes on him though because he knows Harry’s a fucking liar.  
“If you heard us arguing, if you thought we were dating, then why the fuck, did you fuck me?” Louis’ loud but he doesn’t care because why would Zayn fuck him if he thought he was dating Harry?

Zayn leans in closer. “I just figured you were getting back at him for stepping out on you.”

“So you think I’m a cheater?” Louis’ quite offended because he’s not a cheater. 

“I thought you were getting back at him for fuckin you over.”

“You didn’t answer the question though, do you think I would cheat?” He’s offended. He really is.

“I mean,” Zayn looks him over and licks his lips, “you can’t blame me for thinking you two were together. Styles talks about you any chance he gets. Now I know what he meant when he said, you got good mouth like you got no teeth.”

Zayn looks smug as Louis blushes from the tips of his ears to the base of his neck of fucking course, Harry brags about him to everyone else. Possessive asshole.

“The only reason he talks about me is to let people know I’m his.”

A look of confusion crosses Zayn’s face, “But you’re not together?”

“Baby. Harry’s the only person I’ve been fucking besides you. Whereas he’s fucked half our junior class.” Louis realizes how fucked his situation is but its going to change starting with Zayn hopefully.

“So that means your free game right?” Zayn’s looking at him with a smug grin.

Fuck. Louis really wants Zayn.

If Louis slips Zayn his number after giving him head in the bathroom, then that’s no ones business but theirs.

 

…

 

Zayn comes around regularly now. They text. Hangout. Smoke. Fuck. Everything’s going good for them. 

They only hangout outside of school though. They go out together, but they aren’t dating. They like to have fun without commitment. Kinda like what Louis had with Harry but the difference is Zayn doesn’t fuck other people. They’re basically friends with benefits.

And Louis’ ok with that as long as Zayn isn’t off fucking other people.

 

…

 

Harry catches Zayn and Louis going as it one day after school.

He’s going over to Louis’ house because they had plans but Louis decided to cancel on him last minute.

He didn’t even have decency to do it in person but over text.

Harry’s fuming because they’ve planned this all week. This was supposed to be HarryandLouis time because everyday this week that Harry suggested they hung out Louis was “busy”. 

Busy my ass Harry thinks bitterly as he climbs up the steps to the Tomlinson household. He doesn’t even bother to knock anymore. He uses the key Louis gave him when they first started fucking.

Harry hasn’t fucked Louis in so long. All he wants to do is fuck his boy good and hard and maybe cuddle a little afterwards.

He’s making his way up the stairs when he first hears it.

He knows its Louis. He knows the noises he makes. This time is different though because not only does he hear Louis calling out daddy he hears someone responding to baby as baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Thank you for lovely comments as well!
> 
> Z. xx


	3. I’m Coming From A Different Phase, When I’m With You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes we love people we probably shouldn't.

Harry’s standing right in front of the door but he’s hesitant to do anything more. To go any further. He can’t stomach the thought of _his Louis_ being with someone else.

 

He wants to walk out of Louis’ house and never talk to him again but a bigger part of him wants to bash, whoevers in Louis’ room, skull open. He wants to rip them to pieces then he maybe wants to give Louis a piece of him mind.

 

_How could he?_

 

He was so pissed at Harry for sleeping around, but here he is, doing the same shit.

 

Harry doesn’t even have to open Louis’ room door because before he knows it the door is being opened and Zayn bumps into him.

 

“What the fuck man?” Zayn’s shocked by Harry’s presence if the tone of his voice is anything to go by. He looks a mix between shock and fright.

 

“Don’t _‘what the fuck’_ me!” Harry’s so fucking pissed. Who does _Zayn_ fucking think he is?

 

Harry tackles Zayn to the ground and he just starts going at Zayn face with his fist.

 

He’s throwing punch after punch. All he wants to do is end Zayn. Make him feel pain. Make him regret being Louis.

 

_His Louis._

 

Zayn flips them over so he has the upper hand, what confuses Harry though, is Zayn’s lack of interest of fighting back.

 

_Why isn’t he fighting back?_

 

“I don’t know what your problem is but you need to chill the fuck out.” He isn’t even mad he just seems worried, “You need to calm down before you upset Lou.”

 

And of fucking course. Yeah Harry’s pissed at them both but he forces his self to calm down for Louis.

 

 _His Louis_.

 

“Ok. Get the fuck off me. You’re getting blood on me.” Just because Harry’s calmed doesn’t mean he’s still not mad. Zayn fucked Louis.

 

 _His Louis_.

 

Zayn gets off him and heads towards the bathroom. Before he completely makes it he looks over his shoulder, “Don’t even think about it. The only reason I didn’t fight back is because I didn’t want to worry Lou. But if you go in there I’ll beat your ass.”

 

“Fuck off.” Surely Zayn wouldn’t do anything. What’s the big deal anyway?

 

“Fuckin try me Styles. I’m not playing.” Then he walks in the bathroom.

 

Harry hears the tap running so he decides to see why Louis hasn’t made an appearance yet. Surely he heard what was going on.

 

When he goes in Louis’ room he’s sprawled out over the bed and he looks dazed and something he can’t put his finger on.

 

Harry _doesn’t_ like it though.

 

_His Louis._

 

“Louis?” He doesn’t respond though and Harry’s so fucking worried. “ _Louis?_ ” he whispers getting closer to his boy but its like Louis is looking _through_ him. “Louis?!” Harry’s so fucking scared because why isn’t Louis responding? “Louis?!” Harry doesn’t mean to be so aggressive when he starts shaking Louis. He’s shaking him so hard that Louis’ _crying_.

 

_He doesn’t mean to make Louis cry._

_His Louis._

_He loves Louis._

Zayn barges into the room at that exact minute and he looks pissed.

 

“What the fuck did I tell you?” He sounds calm but the look on his face says otherwise.

 

He makes his way over to a crying Louis and starts rocking him back and forth, “Its alright darling, daddy’s got you now. Calm down for me, sweets.”

 

Louis starts to calm down and cuddles into Zayn a bit more, holding him tight.

 

“Shh, baby. It alright, I got you. You’re ok.” Louis relaxes in his arms and not even a minute later he asleep. Zayn rocks him for a couple more minutes as Harry looks on in fear then he proceeds to wash Louis down with a washcloth.

 

“I think its best if you leave. I should beat your ass,” Once again Zayn sounds so calm and that scares harry, “I should beat your ass. I really should. Louis probably wont remember this since he was in his headspace. You fuckin scared him, you know.”

 

“I,” Harry takes a moment to gather his thoughts, “I didn’t mean to. I just,” he pauses because he doesn’t even know how to feel. What was that? “What’s headspace? What did you do to him?”

 

He’s angry once again.

 

Zayn did something to Louis.

 

_His Louis._

“I think you should leave Harry. Louis doesn’t want you. He wants _me_. Why even bother? You’re no competition to me.” He looks how he sounds. _Cold._ “And next time you even _think_ about touching me, I’m gonna beat your ass. And I’m for real this time.”

 

Then he’s getting in bed with Louis.

 

_His Louis._

“Shut the door on your way out.”

 

Harry shuts Louis’ door and before he exists Louis’ house he leaves the house keys on the counter.

 

_He’s done._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading my sweets.
> 
> Z. xx


	4. Take It To The Back Now, I'd Take A Shot For You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love and jealousy is a poisonous mix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoy this one!

When they return back to school Harry wants to talk to Louis but his pride gets in the way so he doesn’t. He holds his self back form approaching Louis, though the thought of being in the presence of him is enticing.

 

He wishes that things didn’t have to end between them. That he could still have Louis.

 

_Louis._

_His Louis._

 

He _wants_ to hold Louis. He _needs_ to hold him.

 

He told himself he didn’t _need_ Louis but maybe he does.

 

Zayn and Louis hangout during school now. They look good together. Harry’s starts to take notice that Zayn makes Louis genuinely happy.

 

_His Louis._

 

Zayn gets along with Louis’ friends and Harry’s not jealous, it just, well. It took a while before Liam actually _gave_ him a chance. And Niall? Niall didn’t want to be seen around him at first.

 

Day after day passes.

 

There’ still no word from Louis. He wishes his ego wasn’t so big so he could at least attempt to talk to Louis.

 

_His Louis._

_Not anymore._

 

Niall and Liam don’t associate themselves with him anymore.

 

_They replaced him with Zayn._

And maybe it hurts because he _thought_ he was they were his friends.

 

_How foolish of him._

He _wants_ Louis.

 

He _needs_ Louis.

 

His brain tells him that Louis doesn’t need him though.

 

_He has Zayn._

 

Zayn’s words repeat in his head daily like a mantra, _“I think you should leave Harry. Louis doesn’t want you. He wants **me**. Why even bother? You’re no competition to me.”_

Harry isn’t afraid of Zayn he’s afraid of the truth.

 

The truth is that Louis didn’t _want_ or _need_ him anymore.

 

It hurts bad to acknowledge but he knows its true. He’s no good for Louis.

 

So he does what he does best.

 

_Fuck random people and get drunk._

 

 

…

 

 

The thing is that Harry didn’t _mean_ to.

 

He _didn’t mean_ to upset Louis.

 

He _didn’t_ _mean_ to out him.

 

He _didn’t mean_ to embarrass him.

 

He _didn’t mean_ to kink shame him.

 

He _didn’t mean_ to expose Louis.

 

_His Louis._

_He’s not yours anymore. He hates your fucking guts._

It started because of a picture that Zayn posted on twitter.

 

_A picture of Louis._

_His Louis._

_Not anymore._

 

In the picture Louis is asleep in bed, between Zayn’s legs, laying on his front so his head is resting on Zayn’s chest. And Harry could see the dark red and purple hickeys that adorned his tan skin. He was naked from the waist down with Zayn’s hand cupping his ass.

 

The tweet attached to the picture read,

 

_@zaynmalik: The best thing uve nvr had. #Mine_

And Harry doesn’t know if the Zayn’s sub tweeting him but he’s also 100% sure Zayn’s sub tweeting him.

 

So he sub tweets Zayn back,

 

_@Harry_Styles: Lmfao. Hows my dick taste tho? #ItWasMineFirst_

He wasn’t expecting Zayn to directly tweet him though, but he does,

 

_@zaynmalik: Lol. @Harry_Styles Latex Im guessin since bebz never let u go in bare._

Zayn then goes on to tweet,

 

_@zaynmalik: It must suck that u had to use a condom after all this time but I never had to. Lol. #Slut_

Yeah Harry regrets what he tweets next but at the time he didn’t care, all he wanted to do was prove to Zayn that he didn’t _want_ Louis.

 

_He does though._

_He wants Louis. Needs him._

 

_@Harry_Styles: @zaynmalik he calls u ‘daddy’. Keep the weird slut for all I care. Someone has issues. #DaddyIssues_

He then goes on to do something he should’ve never done. He tweets Louis,

 

_@Harry_Styles: @Louis_Tomlinson fuck u and ur basic ass bitch. Isnt 1 daddy enough? Y do u need another? #Slut_

He knew he went to far. He knows he did, but at that moment he _didn’t care_. He had a point to prove so he did what he had to do.

 

_@zaynmalik: @Harry_Styles Fuck off. Ur just mad he doesnt call u daddy. Fuckin slut._

And, yeah. Maybe Harry _is_ jealous that Louis calls Zayn ‘daddy’ and not him, but he’s not going to let Zayn _or_ Louis know that.

_@Harry_Styles: @zaynmalik Im 100% I dont want a bitch who calls me ‘daddy’ when we fuck._

He wants Louis to call him ‘daddy’. He does.

_@zaynmalik: Ur such a dick. Stop fuckin tweetin me & Lou u petty ass bitch._

Harry knows he’s an asshole but he doesn’t care because he’s trying to prove a point not only to Zayn or Louis, but also to himself,

 

_@Harry_Styles: @Louis_Tomlinson cant believe I fucked u bc that ‘daddy’ shit u got goin on is weird af. Glad it ended._

 

When Louis tweets a minute or so later he feels numb, he never wants Louis to hate him but maybe its for the best if he does,

_@Louis_Tomlinson: Lol. Fuck both you assholes._

Harry wants to die. He does.

_@zaynmalik: @Louis_Tomlinson Im soz bebz. Xx_

_@Louis_Tomlinson: @zaynmalik I’m not worth it._

He’s worth it. Louis’ worth it. He is, but _I_ made him feel worthless.

 

_I did this._

_@zaynmalik: I love you, Poppet. xx_

His heart hurts because he _knows_ that tweet is for Louis. The question is does he have the right to be upset when he’s the one who started this?

 

_Zayn loves Louis. He loves him._

 

Louis’ next tweet breaks what’s left of his heart though,

_@Louis_Tomlinson: I’m not worth it. xx_

That was the last tweet from Louis and that was nearly an hour ago. He feels bad because he knows Louis isn’t ok. He wants to hold him and tell him its alright but he doesn’t have that right anymore.

 

He’s laying in bed when his phone goes off but he decides to ignore. His phone goes off _ping_ after _ping_ repeatedly, so he decides to check it. His phone is flooded with texts from Niall, Liam and even _Zayn._

There’s something wrong. He _knows_ something is wrong. He can feel it in his stomach.

 

He goes through his texts and clicks on the first one he received. It’s a text from _Zayn,_ the text read,

 

**_I swear to all things good if something happened I’m gonna beat your ass._ **

 

Connected to the text was a link to Louis’ Twitter and one to his Facebook. He reads the tweet over and over, because _what?_ He’s so fucking confused,

 

_@Louis_Tomlinson: Always in my heart @Harry_Styles . Yours sincerely, Louis_

_What?_ Harry then decides to click on the link to the Facebook post shatters the rest of his unresponsive heart and he’s sure he wants to drop dead this instant.

 

**_Louis Tomlinson_ **

_Being on the brink of death is both the most satisfying and ideal feeling ever. Sometimes you have to come to the terms with not being ok. I have come so far to only be tore back down by someone I thought loved me. Someone I thought was my friend. **Liam Payne** , thank you for showing me what a real friend looked and felt like. I’ll never forget you my gorgeous pup. You’re my boy. My best friend and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the trouble I brought to your door. Thank you for loving me, I love you Liam. **Niall Horan** You were always someone who genuinely made me happy. Words can’t place how happy I am to call you mine. My brother. My friend. My happiness. My rock. I love you so fucking much. I love you. **Zayn Malik**. I fell in love with you. I don’t regret it. How could I? You showed me that I was worth more than a good fuck. You are my lover and best friend. The only thing I regret is not have met you sooner. If I would have met you sooner I could’ve avoided all this pain. Maybe I wouldn’t be ready to die this instant. I never want to forget you. I never want to forget you. You know what? After I’m gone you should get that ‘Bus 1’ tattoo we always talked about getting. I love you Zayn. Fuck, I love you so fucking much. Please never forget me, please. Please. Please. Please. Please. I want to stay but I can’t take anymore of this. Thank you for showing me what its like to be loved and be in love. I love you, Z. Forever and always. **Harry Styles** , I’ve spent so much time with you, you were once the person who gave me strength, but now I know you were only bringing me down. You’re my weakness but at one point I did love you. That was so fucking stupid of me because I fucking hate you. A part of me still loves you though. You’ll always have a big impact on me because you’ll forever be in my heart. Isn’t that what you wanted? I hope you burn in hell. I wish I could kill you but I guess killing myself is the best next thing. _

_I’m so sorry._

_Louis, xx._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven't updated but a lot has been going on so I don't feel like I have to apologize because family always comes first. No matter what.
> 
> Thank you for reading. Please don't feel afraid to comment anything, as long as it isn't hate.
> 
> Z. xx


	5. Wasted Every Night, Gone For Every Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ones we love most, tend to be the ones who hurt us the most.

Louis lays in his cold hospital bed, wallowing in self-pity, watching as rain trickles down the window. He has no one. He’s alone. Nothing feels right.

_He feels empty._

_He feels lonely._

_He feels regret._

_He feels guilt._

_He feels pain._

He wishes he would’ve died. He wishes they would’ve let him die. He wants to die.

_Why didn’t they let him die?_  
He’s angry. More at himself than anything else. Why did he post that status on Facebook? He should’ve just done it without a warning.

_Then none of this would have happened._

If he had never made that status, then Harry wouldn’t be hurt. Zayn wouldn’t be hurt.

_It’s your entire fault._

He knows the voices are right so he pushes down on his wrapped wrist, pushing down on the cuts causing blood to surface through the bandage.

He doesn’t allow himself to cry more than a few minutes because he deserves the pain. He deserves to be dead.

_Why didn’t they let him die?_

He’s so fucking angry. Angry at everyone. Everyone knows this is his fault. The news did a cover story of the accident and that’s how he found out.

He was laying in bed facing the window when he heard it, _‘Due to a bad car wreck, two young teens of ages 17 and 18 were brought into North Row County Hospital this afternoon. A young Harry Styles and a young Zayn Malik were bro-‘_ He stopped listening there.

Everything became numb after that. He knows what they were doing.

They were _trying_ to _get_ to _him_.

They were _trying_ to _save him_.

_They’re could’ve died trying to save you, you piece of shit._

And he knows the voices in his head are right so he presses down harder on his wrist and cries some more.

 

…

 

Its been about a week since Louis got out of the hospital but he hasn’t done anything but lay in bed. He checked his Facebook and Twitter on his second day home and he wasn’t remotely shocked that his notifications were filled with worried family members and friends. He didn’t let the rush of love and affection get to him because it wasn’t fair.

_You don’t deserve to feel loved you piece of shit_

_Its your fault that both Zayn and Harry are in the hospital._

_You did this._

_You disgusting piece of shit, you should’ve died._

The voices in his head never go away. They’re a constant reminder of what a fuck up he is.

The news is also a reminder of what a fuck up he is. Lately all they’ve been talking about is Harry and Zayn. Ever since reporters found out why Harry and Zayn were in a rush, leading to their accident, his social media accounts have been blown up with hate, threats and the occasional sympathetic tweet or post.

_Everyone hates you, you should’ve died._

His family wants to send him away. They think rehab and therapy will help but in all honesty Louis thinks that they don’t want to have to deal with a fuck up like him.

_If you go away your family will finally be stress free and happy._

And yeah, Louis knows the voices in his head are right. But before he leaves he has something he needs to do: Apologize to Anne and Trisha.

 

…

 

“Anne! That _never_ fucking _happened_! _Me and Harry were never together_!”

Talking to Zayn’s mom was easier than talking to Harry’s because Trisha understood that Louis never meant to hurt her boy. She know Louis loves Zayn and vice versa. Anne was a whole other story though. She claimed Harry loves Louis and that Louis cheated on him.

“My son _told me_ he was _in love_! He _loves you_ and _this_ is how you repay him?! By _cheating_ on him with some _no good_ brat?!” Anne’s face was red with anger from all the pent up frustration.

“ _Anne please_ ,” Louis begs, “ _Your son_ , he was _never_ my _boyfriend_. You have to underst-”

“I _don’t_ have to _understand shit_! You _broke my boys_ _heart_ for _some good for nothing low-life_ , you _slut_!”

Calling Zayn a “ _good for nothing low-life_ ,” must’ve triggered something in Louis because it was a screaming match from there. He was tired of trying to respect Anne when she kept disrespecting Zayn.

_He’s done._

“If _anyone_ is a ‘ _good for nothing low-life_ ’ then its _your fucking son_! _Your son is the one that’s a fucking slut_! He’s a fucking cunt who _can’t_ _keep it in his pants_! He’s a fucking _liar_! _Why can’t you fucking see it_?! We. Never. Dated. Because your slutty ass son _can’t be fucking faithful_! _So fuck what he’s told you. Fuck him and fuck you, you hypocritical bitch_!”

With those final words Louis storms out of the Styles household, chest heaving and tears clouding his vision.

_Yeah, he’s done._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with me.  
> Z.xx

**Author's Note:**

> How was it? Good I hope!
> 
> Z. xx


End file.
